Beltway Roulette

Written by Mark Scharf.

A one act play for 4 males and 1 female. A 30 minute dark comedy that opens in a room at the No Tell Motel outside Washington DC at 4.00am on a weekday in 1992.

Our heroine, Celeste, loves to play roulette but not the sort that gets played in Las Vegas. The Washington Beltway is her wheel of chance. She travels the Beltway drinking and taking drugs and picking up men in bars, only to whisk them away for a night of sordid sex in an equally sordid motel.

"Pick an exit, spin the wheel, take a chance - any two can play!" is her mantra.

Celeste is one mixed up woman. When the play opens she is in bed with Richard her latest victim. She wakes him violently and then terrorises him with her scary announcements and unquenchable substance abuse,

"Wounds are like magnets for me."

"I don't believe in guilt."

She tells him.

She is one sick woman. And of course therefore she has a shrink. We join Celeste when she visits her psychiatrist in the next scene. She is even more unstable and tries to engage the psychiatrist in sex. All he responds with is "I'm listening." Has this guy been watching too much 'Frasier'?

An odd little encounter in the park shows us more of our heroine. She shares a park bench with a young father who is watching his daughter play. Celeste starts to ask him all sorts of intimate questions about his ability to parent. Celeste begins to refer to him as 'daddy', talking about night-lights et al, and finally drives the young man away.

When Celeste fails to find a date she resorts to her husband, Geoffrey and takes him to the Poke 'n' Go Motor Lodge. He is a sensitive soul who despite all she has put him through still loves Celeste. We are not told why, for she hates men; she physically and emotionally abuses them. But Celeste hates herself too, abusing herself just as much. By the time the play finishes the audience are just as likely to hate her as well.